Is goat foreskin Kosher...???
I have just arrived home from a hospital. Today I was attacked by a big gang of Muslim children (who I hold no racist grudge against by the way). Earlier I went to visit some dear Palestinian friends of mine who I usually go to see to give chocolate to. They like chocolate. I went to the village they live in as HUMAN BEANS dressed as Martin Luther King in a bid to spread love and tolerance. LOVELY!!!
I was holding a board which said ‘LOVE LOVE AND HATE HATE’. As I walked into the village I imagined I was again marching with Dr King in Washington. I looked to my right and imagined President Bobby Kennedy waving in a loving way from a White House window (he was the best looking president in my opinion). To seal this peaceful and pro multi-cultural mission I decided I would circumcise a local goat to show animals are like people. I approached the first goat I saw and trod carefully so I didn’t impange the goat’s human rights. I grabbed the kid and pinned him down; the villagers went wild I was hoping in a peaceful and inter-cultural way.
I ventured downwards and grabbed the kid’s penis, and as quick as a suicide bomber I whipped off that foreskin. “Brave goat..” I said as I patted it on the back.
The man who owned the goat called me some very non-peaceful names and I struggled to hold back my tears. Then his children started hitting me with sticks and I shouted out “I HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS!” but it was no use as they were angry that I was spreading peace in their village. I managed to get back to my car where I had a box full of Korn Flakes or ‘Koran Flakes’ as they are known here. Distracted by the low calorie Koran Flakes I made my escape and went to a hospital to get my head checked out. Luckily there was a sexy doctor there which made me feel relieved and slightly aroused.
My lesson is learned… GOATS CAN BE A BARRIER TO PEACE. I hope those children forgive me, I wouldn’t want them to become suicide bombers. That would be SICK!!!
With love,
J 4 J